So, this has been circulating on my newsfeed, 35 Things I Learned From Living in a Sorority House. While every.single.thing. (maybe with the exception of the house mom becoming your stand-in mom... Pam I love ya and all, but you ain't no Karen) is accurate, I thought I'd give my own little list of what I learned while living in the house. My peers now (coworkers, non-greek friends, etc.) look at me with seven heads {and judgmental eyes…} when I explain I lived in a house with 40+ girls.
Like no morons, we didn't run around in skimpy pajamas pillow fighting each other. If there was any instance anything remotely like that, it was some poor person {me} walking in their bra and PJ shorts down the hallway at 7:30am after a night out {wanting to keep their head on their pillow for the next several hours} because that poor soul {me again} had a mandatory attendance 8am class.
It was so much more for me, it honestly prepared me for the real world.
Side Note: It did NOT prepare me to cook or clean.
But it taught me real life skills. Here they go...
35 Things I Learned From Living in a Sorority House
1. How to run effective meetings. So I won't deny this- I still get nervous at times in a conference room with particular leadership in the room for meetings. But I can't imagine not having the knowledge that I do from my chapter and from being a Rho Gamma. NO ONE- I repeat- NO ONE wants to hear you talk, except for your own self. Everyone is worried about numero uno in meetings; they want to get in, get to the point and get out. {Especially if phones are not allowed} So, it's taught me to stick to an agenda, have an call to action (what does the group need to do in order to be successful?), delegate, STAY ON TOPIC (God that's a hard one- sorority life AND professional life) and FINISH ON TIME. Nothing anyone hates more than when a meeting (or chapter) runs long. BAM
2. Always let someone know where I’m going. If you don't, you will either get a million texts asking why you're not in their roommates bed watching Blue Planet or Bravo with them. OR you probably need someone to talk you out of where you shouldn't be going {example: romantic dinner with an ex}
3. How to cut corners. I'm not one of those girls that needs to do every single thing and be on every single board. Never was. So while that sounds bad, it taught me to prioritize things, but still be "involved" enough to get what I need to get out of a truly well rounded experience.
4. How to manage my time. I realize that the act of being in college, alone, teaches you how to do this. But when you’re Greek, your schedule is even more demanding. It’s overwhelming when you’re on your own for the first time with no routine for the first time. I had to learn how to make time for school, mandatory meetings, clubs, work, oh and SOCIAL stuff. The fun stuff couldn't happen without the first things mentioned getting done.
5. Just because you don’t like someone today, it doesn’t mean you won’t love them in the future. My mom says this about my personality all the time- I could despise someone one week, and love them the next. I go from cold to hot fast. I'm overly loyal and love a lot, sue me. But it's intensified {for anyone really, not just me I promise} when you're in the house.
6. On the other side of the coin, just because you’re close with someone today, it doesn’t mean that you won’t grow apart over time. This one probably sucks the most. I had so many people I always told myself I wouldn't ever lose touch with, but it happens. And it sucks.
7. Fraternity men don’t get nearly as much credit as they deserve. Hear me out on this one. I recognize that men {in general} make stupid decisions on a fairly regular basis, and that “frat boys” don’t have the best reputations {thanks TFM}. However, there aren’t a lot of institutions around these days that really teach boys how to be gentlemen or how to leverage their relationships. Luckily, my man is a purrfect gent without ever being in a fraternity. But it gets old when others think they're "scrubs" or judge what they don't know. So, you know, there’s that. And, you know, all of those statistics on the number of Greek United States Presidents, members of Congress and state legislatures, CEOs of Fortune companies, etc.
8. How to love caffeine. Nothing teaches you how to appreciate the soda machine in the laundry room quite like at 2 a.m. when the kitchen is closed {and locked} and you’ve only memorized half of the slides for your business law exam.
9. How to love beer. There’s no better way to appreciate a well-crafted brew or cider like drinking cheap beer for four years. And then your grand big introduces you to Woodchuck *heavens open*
10. How to delegate. The best thing about being in a sorority, unlike just about every single group project that has ever been assigned in the history of academics, is you constantly have a team of people who are there to help you with whatever you need. You never feel like you have to do anything alone. It’s hard to give up control, but better to use the homecoming float as a test run for delegating instead of deciding you want to give it a whirl at 9 p.m. the night before a Regional Meeting.
11. Life is about the in-between moments. The best memories I have, not just from college, but from my entire life, are always from those moments on the way to something else. Those chats on the floor of the TV room as someone is cutting a pair of jorts (either for actual wear or a social.. scary thought), a late night pledge ride to Taco Bell, sitting on the rocking chairs on the front porch on a spring evening, shower parties… those were the best. They still are. All we need is Ying Yang Twins Pandora station and some franzia.
12. What family is. I am super close with my family. So when I wasn't around them all the time, I needed that safety net. I got that and so, so much more.
13. How to paint. So, there is always going to be someone better than you at something. I always thought of myself as a decent painter- enter The Cooler Connection. I learned so many tips from sisters spending late nights in the craft room hanging out painting coolers. {Sorry Pam for spraying spray paint in there once and having it stink up the back stair well for hours… oops}
14. How to respect other people’s views. Politics are something that are pretty heated within Greek life. Florida State's Greek life swings heavily to the right- most are Republicans. However, my best friend and several other sisters are Democrats. I learned how to respect their views. And it was just such a beautiful thing, to see how we could still be divided in our beliefs, but united in our sisterhood.
15. How to develop my own views. Nothing makes you question everything you’ve ever believed in your entire life like living on your own for the first time, with 40 women. EVERYONE has an opinion. Sometimes your view is Switzerland. Sometimes your view agrees with a particular person. But it's important to get Person A's side, Person B's side, and try to figure out the actual truth.
16. How to take a really great photo. Here’s a play-by-play of what happens when you take a photo of a group of sorority women:
“I’m not ready!" *flips hair, swoops hair, smoothes hair*
“Okay! Okay!” *hand goes on hip*
“Wait, I blinked.” *checks the photo*
“Take another one! Take another one!” *skinny arm engaged*
“Let me see! Let me see!” *pushing each other to see the photo, because speak now or forever hold your peace*
“No, no. Take another one. Hold the camera up.” *doesn't this idiot know that's the best angle?*
“Let me see! Let me see!” *come on, everyone have their eyes open this time*
“Take another one.” *Dammit Caitlin your eyes were closed*
But, the end result is worth it. Enter sorority Tumblr trends.
17. How to plan events. Let me tell you, planning a homecoming float and all homecoming activities with FOUR Greek organizations makes planning regional briefings across the state with top CEO's of major companies a cake walk. There's a reason "Homecoming Chair" is on my résumé.
18. How to love classic rock. Truth be told, with very few exceptions, I wasn’t a fan of classic rock until I pledged. But throw in some rocker socials and Ken's Tavern and boom shackalacka, you're a fan.
19. How to parallel park. Sorry for that one time I learned how to parallel park on one of Florida State's busiest streets in my ex boyfriends H3 by myself… Because my sisters told me I needed to learn one day.
20. How to be a woman of my word. Being in a sorority taught me that if I say I’m going to do something, people not only expect me to show up, they depend on me to. I’m not 100% perfect, but I make one hell of an effort.
21. How to have conversations. Sorority women are masters of conversation, because all of us endured pre-recruitment. I never ever thought that while I was practicing how to talk about literally anything and everything {squirrels, rocks, down comforters}, and make smooth transitions introducing other sisters to potential new members, it would become one of the most valuable tools for my professional life. You learn how to take an interest in other people, make them feel comfortable, and actually get to know them in a short {very short} amount of time. It doesn’t seem like it would be that big of a thing, but those skills make flights, elevator rides, car rides with your boss, and networking events way more enjoyable.
22. How to say no. When I was a Phi, I said yes to everything. Everything. And it was exhausting. But I felt like no wasn’t an option, what else did I have going on? But, over time, I learned that sometimes, you can’t add anything else to your plate. I started being clear with myself about what I could actually do without letting anything else take a back seat or fall to the wayside. No is a great word sometimes.
23. How to say yes. As important as it was to learn no, I also learned how important it is to say yes to opportunities and new experiences. Whether it was the decision to go on a last minute road trip {which is very much me to do}, or to take a class I normally wouldn't, or take a hike in the local state parks. I tried to embrace my natural desire to be spontaneous at any opportunity I could. These days, I have to schedule time to be spontaneous. It makes me wince to even say that.
24. LBD FTW. You can wear a little black dress for anything – socials, interviews (length appropriate, ladies), date functions, formals, the list goes on.. It's flattering y'all.
25. How to forgive. People do shitty things. Sometimes they lie, or drop the ball, or go home with the wrong person. Everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes, and everyone is trying to find their way in this world just like me. And while there were days when I absolutely wanted to kill someone, it was usually short lived {Despise people and love people thing again}. When you’re stuck with people 24/7, you learn to pick your battles, forgive quickly, and move on.
26. How to love unconditionally. It’s unrealistic to think that the people we love are never, ever, going to disappoint us {which I'm still learning to remember all the time}. That’s not to say we need to be doormats, but we could all benefit from lowering our expectations of others. Obviously it’s a balancing act, but, being in a sorority taught me to love people – genuinely love them – for who they are. Not who they were, or who they could be, but who they are today. Flaws and all. And I learned that, just like in my own family, I could not like someone, but still love them more than anything in the world, and be willing to fight for them.
27. How to be vulnerable. Joining a sorority with 200+ beautiful, seemingly perfect women was pretty intimidating at first. I thought I was always going to have to be perfectly dressed and wearing full makeup at all hours of the day. But, I slowly started to learn that no one was going to care if I wore boxers and yesterdays makeup to fried fridays. Hell, everyone else was. And we were dancing to Britney Spears and chicken fingers. So YOLO.
28. How to fall apart. I have come to the conclusion that a sorority house is an ideal place to lose your shit. There’s a big screen television, a handicapped shower to drown your sorrows in, all of the magazines you could ever want, and there’s always someone who is willing to give you a makeover on whatever day you decide it is that you want to start over. I fell apart after a break up a few years ago. I was building myself back when I fell apart again over someone not worth an ounce of my time. It was my sisters (and my mom) that started getting me feeling good again.
29. How to put yourself back together. I know ideally, we have to love ourselves first, but sometimes, that’s just not possible. You get broken down along the way sometimes. But I learned that having a strong support system – whether the people are vocal and cheering you on, or just there to listen – is absolutely vital for making it through the rough patches. Having that support allows you to be strong enough to learn how to love yourself again. There’s nothing you can’t do when you have great people believing in you in your corner.
30. The things that you think mean nothing, really mean everything. And vice versa.
31. Relationships are everything. I swear, I learned more about the business world in the years there than I have in the year in the real world. It's how I got my job in the first place.
32. Some stories need to be taken to the grave. That one time we went to the grave yard, a nice italian dinner, pints of ice cream for everyone and filmed a horror film with the Alphas...
33. How to resolve conflict. Well, I'm still confrontational. Shock. It's in my blood {I'd rather argue, get it out and move on than let it fester and keep going on in gray areas}. But it doesn't have to be brutal or bloody, sometimes it can be gentle. And adult-like. Who woulda thunk it.
34. How to be crafty. I thought I had reached the crafting limit in high school being a cheerleader. False. With joining a sorority, and the inter webs creating Pinterest, the sky is the limit. The house was always full of adorable crafts in show rooms, or making something clever for a Big-Little reveal. Now my big girl apartment is filled with awesome DIY decorations inspired by sisters.
And finally…
35. It’s not about me. At least not 99% of the time. It's a sisterhood.
