With Florida's General Elections finally over, and my job finally situated, I feel like I can properly return to this little space of mine and blab away about my daily doings, clothing, shoes, life, you name it.
Some fun things have been happening recently, and I can't believe it's NOVEMBER?!
Where did beautiful October go?
October was full of little adventures.
Here's my look back into one of my favorite months of the year:
I started my month with a beautiful, very thoughtful bouquet of flowers from my ginga man. I can't believe it's been a year already with this fantastic hunk. Time really does fly when you're having fun- and how stunning is this arrangement? What an incredible kickoff to a wonderful month.
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I started the first weekend off in October with a Luke Bryan concert... Even with terrible rainy weather, it couldn't stop my friends from having a great time
Even though Kyle has voiced how much he hates this photo (-insert Bud Light face here-), I love that there is PROOF that we have OFFICIALLY broken in the cornhole boards I got him for his birthday in June! With the initial purpose of getting these for him being a birthday gift and celebration of what was hopefully going to be a new backyard of a new house (which has happily been put on hold), we've had slim chances of actually using these. But I'll be damned if we didn't break them out once the rain let up at LB2014.
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On a different note, the second week in October was a hard one for me. My grandmother, Duggan as I lovingly dubbed her at the wise age of two, is further declining. If you know me personally, you know she has been suffering from Dementia/Alzheimers for many years now. She lives in a place that is fully dedicated to bettering the lives and comforting residents on their journey with Dementia/Alzheimers.
Recently, she has had to have a couple of blood transfusions (in which her hemoglobin levels have been life-threatening low), and honestly, we couldn't truly figure out why. She required hospitalization and if you have ever experienced someone with late stage (or really any stage) of Dementia in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people, poking and prodding you when you feel sick... let's just say they're not themselves. Poor Mom too.
It breaks my heart, and also comforts me, that as a result of her last blood transfusion and based on doctors 'guesstimates' if you will, we have come to draw a conclusion as to what is going on in her precious little body. It is highly likely that she has a malignant mass in her colon thathas begun to spread all over her body as there are lesions on her lungs and other areas. This is the fun part *note the sarcasm* when dealing with geriatric caregivers- without putting her to sleep to do a biopsy or colonoscopy (think of Joan Rivers- no one in their right mind should do that to anyone over the age of 80), no one will say what they really think is going on or give us a time frame of what this progression will look like.
SO, that being said, it was certainly time to take a trip home to give her a big hug. Her caregiver had suggested that we all come now, to be able to remember her at this point (which is a good point in the road we have ahead of ourselves). Let's just say, that discussion, especially for my amazing mama, was not an easy one.
Among the battle with doctors and different organizations, she has been admitted into hospice care, so a "comfort treatment" like a blood transfusion can be done in a hospice environment to make her as much at ease as possible, instead of rushing her to ER and having her essentially flip out again. It's not fair to her to put her through that, so my family has been very grateful, not discounting bumps in the road to get here, that hospice care is the right choice for her.
It's weird as I sit here and type this, I feel so clinical and feeling-less talking about the process of how we got here. I suppose it hasn't really sunk in. For so long now, I have felt I "lost" Duggan to Dementia, as her memory has deteriorated over the years. But she's always been as healthy as a horse, so with no time frame of when this decline will really take place, I feel that it will come as a complete shock that her strong and healthy body has had it's good life. That part I'm dreading.
It's hard when I'm sitting there talking with her, Duggan happy as can be, chatting away about different disjointed things (a situation I'm completely familiar and comfortable with by now) but just hoping that there will be that clear moment of remembering who I am. I am SO very fortunate to have gotten that moment, TWICE, while I was home visiting with her. It made me cry, my heart swelled with so much love. Through this terrible, awful disease, love still trumps all. And it feels so very good to know the love between a grandparent and grandchild.
{Okay I lied. I'm not feeling-less. I'm crying as I type this part now. Mostly from thankfulness though}
I am sad that there will be a day (hopefully long from now, she's an ox that lady) that I can't hold her hand anymore, that I can't smell her very distinct smell anymore, that I can't curl her red hair or do her makeup, or love on her wide variety wardrobe (This lady literally only wore light pink and green for years), but I am so extremely grateful that I had an amazing childhood onto adulthood with her, that I've had a close bond with her, and so many vivid memories. It should just prove a point that I should be boxed up in her nonexistent short term memory, (23 years is short term at this point in the journey), but the love we have for each other powers through and she is able to recall me.
Maura O'Callaghan Rogan has made me into the fiery little loving smart cookie I am today and I wouldn't want it another way. Not even for a millisecond.
(Note the light pink sweater. PS- She has insisted that is "my color" too)
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Well now that I have gotten through that, everything else I write about will seem a little insignificant, but that's okay. Life throws insignificant moments in the middle of big life moments.
That same weekend, I also got a chance to see our new house under construction and check out the beautiful view we'll have of our property at sunset. My mom has done such an admirable job of handling her own mom's decline, totally renovating a new house, all while balancing a family, animals oh yeah and work. Super woman much?
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The following week was pretty typical. Work, working out, work, working out.
Snuck in a yummy dinner at Gordo's with my favorite man though.
Friday was great, I enjoyed my first Downtown Get Down of the year!
That weekend was the Florida State vs. Notre Dame game, which was definitely a nail-biter! We started our day out at Barnacle Bills for a yummy lunch with Kyle's sister and her boyfriend, then headed to the tailgates! The game was amazing and the halftime show was even better. Who DOESN'T want a Beyonce themed halftime show? It even went viral.
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The second to last week in October was a busy one. Our office is getting renovated on the interior, and my team had an annual retreat for planning for the coming fiscal year.
With that, came sprucing up my office.
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That weekend was a fun one, I'm always grateful for the time I get to spend with great friends.
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Can't forget about these two knuckleheads. Ignore the messy and un-made bed. I just couldn't get over their "We're not doing anything, I promise!" faces. Gotta love these little blonde babies. Ajax is at a training camp in Georgia until mid-late December.
He was a Christmas puppy for Kyle, even though he was born in October, Kyle couldn't pick him up until he was about 8-9 weeks old, making him a very cute and cuddly baby Ajax present. Well, looks like Ajax is about to be a Christmas puppy all over again! I'm already missing this guy so much.
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The 27th is Kyle and I's actual anniversary. Obvi had to do a picstitch of the past year! I came home to the prettiest flowers. The best part of an October anniversary? Goregous fall bouquets.
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With the end of October in sight, of course we had to celebrate Halloween!
This year, I went as a VH1 Video Vixen circa 2002, and Kyle went as a cattle herder/FarmersOnly.com/morphed into several things throughout the night. Let's just say, Kyle got a little too happy with his "laso", and I almost had to take it away. It was pretty hysterical to see all the clever costumes everyone else had out this year!
(Note: 1. This is not a halo; 2. This was about the moment when the laso almost got taken away. boys.)
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With October officially closed, and already days into November, I can't believe how fast time is flying. Here's to hoping my fingers have a little more energy this coming month to tap away in this space than they have recently.
Until next time...
